Is My Mother a Narcissist or a Person Living With a Deep Wounding?

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It was as if the author was describing my mother.

Articles about narcissistic personality disorder started popping up several years ago. I finally read one and got a shock. I sent it to my sister, and she had the same reaction. This is our mother. She talks about herself incessantly. Any conversation you have with her always has to be about her — she’s skilled at ignoring anything you say and bringing the focus back to her. She sulks and manipulates, making you feel bad for her so you’ll behave in a way she likes.

Because I was raised by someone who behaves this way, my brain is hard-wired to put everyone before myself.

I’ve attracted a lot of Narcissists. My first boyfriend, who was horribly controlling, was one. So was my best friend all through my 20s and 30s. So was my ex-husband. I’ve suffered in unhealthy relationships, been criticised, belittled, and made to feel I’m the problem most of my adult life. So I have some insights.

I didn’t realise the full extent to which my mother had no love for me until I became a mother myself.

The day I called her up to say I gave birth, her reply was, ‘Well I had a car accident.’ We spent the next hour talking about her minor fender-bender and hung up without much discussion about the fact that I was now a mother. When I gave birth to my second child three years later, things weren’t any different.

Can a narcissist be a human being trapped behind a mask because of their own deep wounding?

They are safer in their pattern of pushing people away and reinforcing for themselves that they don’t deserve to feel love.

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Writing about creativity and relationships; two aspects of Life that most affect our happiness.

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